Finding Resilience Without Parental Support

Alec’s story is a little messy. Kind of complicated. There are many layers that make up who Alec is, and how he has come to exist in this world. It’s a beautiful, thoughtful, vulnerable story . Grab the kleenex my friends - you may even be able to hear our jaws drop a few times throughout this one! 

Hearing Alec share his story in my living room was actually kind of surreal. To be honest, the whole time he was talking all I could think was, it is nothing short of a miracle that you are here.

Alec is the definition of resilience. Look up resilience in the dictionary, and I am pretty sure you will find the handsome fellow pictured above right next to it. 

Alec tried for years to come out to his family. Every time he did, he did not receive a welcomed response. 

“Wait ‘til you’re older.” 

“If you were in your late 20s.. Maybe we could accept.” 

“Don’t tell anyone.” 

He knew something was happening, that something wasn’t quite in alignment, from the age of 5, but didn’t have the words to fully express what he was going through. One of the reasons he didn’t have the words was because he was told he shouldn’t tell anyone - told he should keep his thoughts and feelings a secret. 

This week we are exploring a side we haven’t yet seen on The Gender Diaries podcast. What does life look like as a trans youth who does not receive parental support? You’ve heard the statistics. But honestly, we don’t need a study to tell us trans youth need family support. All kids and youth need parental support. 

Trans youth are much more likely than their cisgender peers to experience depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and ideations. Alec explores his experiences with these, has words of wisdom for other trans youth planning to come out, and advice for parents who are struggling with accepting their kiddos. 

At The Gender Diaries we encourage parents to open their arms first out of love, get informed second, and then break down the gender walls that society creates. We heard Alec echo these sentiments, and he articulated it in such a vulnerable, brave, and engaged way. 

Alec has become a real life representation to our kiddos. We are SO grateful to have you in our lives Alec. You are a beautiful, kind, and thoughtful soul. Thank you for coming into MY life, and MY kiddos life right when we needed you. You’re welcome at our dinner table any night of the week. 

XO

Ruby 

Hear Season 2 Episode 3 here!