papa bear

The Father of My Trans Kiddo

The Father of my trans kiddo is not the man I met 15 years ago. That man was young, determined, had what seemed to be impenetrable strength … and a full head of hair. I certainly felt like he was my protector back then. We didn’t always see eye to eye, but that was part of the passion between us. I remember leaving our first date feeling like nobody I had ever met had equalled my passion in conversation and debate like he did. It was pretty awesome.

But as the years have passed, the best part of marriage has been the growing together, changing together, and falling in love with each other at each stage of life. We do not stay the same person after getting married, having a child, experiencing death, etc. These life events alter us and we become someone new. I can say with certainty that I have fallen in love with my husband four times in the last 15 years. This last time being the most important and life altering jump into love.

Going through J’s social transition as a family changed us all. Alex was always supportive and on-board. It wasn’t a struggle to “make him believe” or “understand”, and I didn’t fall out of love with my partner during this process. But the person I saw come along with me on this ride, was not the person I knew before. He wasn’t always determined or impenetrable, and didn’t have all the answers. He questioned and listened and researched and read. He became malleable to the information he was receiving. He changed. He became passionate about the politics that affect our kiddo and our lives in a way that was so beautiful … and frankly, smokin’ hot! I fell in love with him again because of this.

So today, I want to wish this awesome guy an early Happy Father’s Day, and tell him how proud I am of the person he has become:

Babe, you got this Father thing down! You lead your children through life, while still following their lead to new spaces. Happy Father’s Day to one of the greats.

-- Lucy

Listen to Ruby and I “grill” our partners on Episode 12 of the podcast this week!