queer

Diversity and Relationships

“I get the sense you didn't have a lot of gender diverse people in your life before you had one in your family.” - a friend and listener of the show hypothesizes one night over messenger.

Was it that obvious? Ha.

When Lucy and I sat down to create this podcast I'm pretty sure the only trans people I knew were my son Z, her son J, Jazz Jennings and Josie Totah. Which is fine. There's nothing wrong with my population being rather limited. It just so happened that my path had not yet crossed with very many trans or gender nonconforming people in my life.

Spoiler alert. It has now crossed with many!

I'm playing catch up.

Every day my world is expanding in ways I didn’t know it needed to, and I have lots of our interviewees to thank for my own education in gender diversity and inclusion. Each trans person’s story is their own - something we announce in our intro week after week. And right now, our sons are just too young to tell their stories for themselves. We are relying on special guests to help bring the story to life, each guest lending their unique and diverse story to our listener’s ears. And if like me, your exposure to the queer community is quite limited I know you are incredibly grateful to get the privilege to see it from the inside with the help of our special guests.

This week's special pairing, Nathan and Neve, were another great addition to my personal education, and I hope you will love learning from them as much as I did. These two identify as a queer couple, but if you saw them on the street you might be quick to write them off as part of the binary; another heteronormative couple walking hand-in-hand down the street. Which as a side note, also leads me to wonder… how many trans people I do happen to pass on the street on a daily basis (remember - an estimated 1 - 2% of people identify as trans, or the same amount of people as who have red hair).

But as Neve shares in this week's episode, being queer and in a relationship without gendered expectations has its perks! She says, “I have a partner who treats me like an equal, and who values all of my complexities, and who I get to be my authentic self with.” Heart eye emojis all around, friends!

I know in talking to other parents of trans and gender diverse children and youth, there is no shortage of fears about our kiddo’s future romantic relationships. Will they find someone who loves them for all that they are? Who will love my child as I do? Will they meet someone to share a life with?

I think everyone will enjoy listening in to this week’s episode of The Gender Diaries Podcast, “Meet Neve and Nathan.” Let them show you how they have built a relationship that suits both their strengths and weaknesses as people, and as a couple. It is a diverse relationship, and one that is so special to the both of them.

I hope that you will value and honour their courage and vulnerability in sharing their story. I know I do! And I thank you so much Neve and Nathan, for continuing to educate me and allowing another story I can learn from to be a part of MY story too.

And if you are a trans listener who would like to add YOUR story to our narrative. Specifically, a trans person of colour, or a trans woman (we have none so far!), we would love to hear from you.

-- Ruby